Courage is a word very used these days. All the famous people have the courage to do something...at least this is what media likes us to believe, while average people's only courage is to live. Politicians have the courage to tell us things understood only by them, starlets to unveil their average boring life in all sorts of reality shows, runaway models to starve themselves to death, some athletes to embrace cheating ways of winning by swallowing so called "supplements", others to push, pull or even bite their opponents in the same desire of getting a larger slice of fame. So lately I started wondering what is courage and who are the real courageous peeps. It wasn't hard to find the answer by the way. I have to admit that for a few weeks I got things all arsy-versy. But then a few days ago, suddenly I realised what courage means.
Firstly, I remembered how dad used to tell me to always be courageous. What he meant, I guess, was to never be afraid of who or what I am. In other words to conquer the world...my way. And that made me remember Conchita Wurst, or Tom Neuwirth if you would like. Now, in my humble opinion Tom is courageous and Conchita is extremly beautiful... and, let's admit it...even sexy....in her way. Without being part of any minority, I got to the conclusion that sex appeal is related somehow to courage. Courageous, confident people who are not afraid of being themselves are sexy. That confirms me at least why I am not attracted to any "glory of the day" somebody. Their so called beautiful image is mostly created by their agents, PRs and media of course.
If courage would be based only on self confidence, everybody would want and get it. But it should be more than that, so I remembered....Conchita again. I am sure that my dad would have liked her and have had the answer in a sec, even if he never saw her, but unfortunately my dad is long time gone. However, my blonde brain needed more than a sec to reveal the truth....my kind of it. Courageous people are tolerant because one needs lots and lots of courage to chose to be tolerant nowadays. But some people do it and they are the absolute winners. A whole list of amazing beings, starting with Gandhi, can prove it. I am far of being like them and I still have lots of tolerance lessons to learn. However, I remember the day I left the country I was raised in for a different future in a land I knew nothing about. A buddy of my friend told me just a second before the take off that I was very courageous to leave behind what I was comfortable with for who knows what I was going to find ahead. That made me melancholic back then. Now, I realise that I wasn't the courageous one. My friend's buddy was. He had the courage to never change. He also had the courage to stay intolerant his whole life...but this is another story that I may share another time.
Anyway, there may be many things that distinguish a courageous person from a coward one. For me though tolerance and confidence are more than enough. That doesn't mean that I got them both. Work in progress. I however got to the realisation that the only beautiful people I ever met are the ones who know who they are, are comfortable with themselves, admit differences and don't judge them. I hope I will get to that point myself...someday! And that day I will be smoking hot like a pistol! Good on you, Conchita for staying true to yourself!
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I am sure I'm not the only one who wondered about the meaning and purpose of our lives. Where did we come from and mostly where are we hitting to? Some may think they found the answer. Maybe they did. It may be something related to achieving as much as possible, storing pieces of papers called money in deposits that, let's be honest, make the banks even richer than them. Or perhaps getting the fame and success they believe they deserve. Or, why not, having the fun of their lives...this life. Others, more spiritual, may relate their destinies to oneness, goodness...or other esses. They may be right too. Maybe, just maybe, serving the right divinity (which is quite hard to decide on) would bring them to accomplishing their destinies....or free will. Very controversial, by the way. I am too small in regards to the whole Universe to have the right answer. At least not one that would suit everybody. I am too insignificant to work it all out. But, once in this life, I am decided to let my guard down and be who I am, which may be far from the blondie you know.
My whole life I tried to find answers to every existential question. I've been through philosophy and adored the way thinkers think. The real ones at least. Like Aristotle who believed that happiness is the only purpose of life...belief shared by Dalai Lama by the way. Schopenhauer thought suffering is the goal; for Freud that sex was the answer, Heidegger debated that true time is four dimensional and destiny may be clearly seeing the dimension we cannot as average human beings; Kant decided that everything is fate. As a stubborn creature, I experimented all their theories. I've been through religion and I am sure I wasn't the only one. Spirituality appealed to me as it did to many others. I believed in the unbelievable and still do somehow. I was rich, successful and proud. I needed no peeps and I was more than enough for myself. Was I happier than when I was poor, average, humble and hungry for somebody's, I mean anybody's, smile? Being wiser now than yesterday, I have admit that none of these are part of my destiny. I had different priorities for different stages in my life. Some people focus on complaining. Like my neighbour who still believes that he can change Hendrix from a devil to a saint...with the help of the animal officer. No way! Or that lady who said some things over 40 years ago believing that she can rule my life. No again! I decided on my destiny long time ago and living someone else's life wasn't part of it! People prioritise according to their moods, desires, dreams, age, relationships. Actually we may think that some things are more important than others according to our own personality. No zodiac involved though!
However, the answer to what is my purpose in life was always in me. Sophocles was right when he said "Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetectedI" For me, happiness is what I leave behind....and that is my purpose in life. A life of purpose. If there is only one life as per some believers or a succession of livings as per others, doesn't matter. I kind of accomplished what I was meant to. I passed the best of me to my two children. They are the adults I wouldn't been able to be. Two open books who can make a difference to this world. Work in progress, still writing their purpose in life based on the hypothesis passed from me to them. I measure their weight in gold and I have over 100kg of gold in my virtual bank...the only one that matters.
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